Tuesday, November 25, 2008

When Is It Over?

I'm not much for country music (truth be told that's a wee bit of an understatement), but whoever wrote that exes live in Texas song was on to something. If I could lump all these special people from my past in one special spot. . .I'd make it somewhere hot and arid too. Only I'd make sure they also didn't have phone or internet access. That way they couldn't happen upon perfectly good days and ruin them for me.

Really, is it too much to ask that 2 years after a break-up the other party might move on. . .finally!? Apparently the answer to that one is yes, it's far too much to ask. Upon finding out that I am actively trying to work out my differences with my current SO, and still planning on moving to the North (my dream since back when I was with the ex), my ex decided to put on his special @ss hat today and take me to task about my life. MY LIFE! Apparently he feels like he should have a say in any and all decisions I make about my personal life; where I live, whether I go back to school or not, and even WHO I live with, needs to be discussed with him before even preliminary decisions are made. Seriously! You'd think if he was so interested in calling the shots in life he'd go out and get one of his own. . .get a job maybe, stop living with his Grandma, date other women. . .it's only been 2 years.

Granted we have 2 beautiful children together, and yes, he has been given every opportunity to participate in decisions which directly affect his childrens lives. Even when he's made some very horrible decisions which landed said beautiful children in the hospital. Still, there are some things that while affecting his children; are just none of his business! Primarily those related to my own schooling and love life. Unless he can demonstrate to me that these choices are in some way going to place the kids directly in harm's way. . . .then why exactly should I be obliged to include him in my decision making process?

As far as the whole moving issue goes, I can see why he'd be upset. I can sympathize, really, but the fact remains . . . .it's what I want. With 2 teenagers at issue here, it's not unreasonable to think they would be able to fly home to see Dad for extended periods of time. Most notably in the summer months. When told of this option the ex was notably unimpressed as "he can't afford airfare", not that anyone said he'd have to pay. . but a JOB might help in this respect. Since the moving topic is something we're still working out as a family (and by family I mean the people who actually live in our house) it would have been nice if he'd waited to over-react to this issue when a decision had potentially been reached.

Oh, and did I mention that all this wonderful discussion of whether I have a right to make my own decisions came about because he decided to snoop through my Facebook profile? A profile which he is not able to see as he does not have his own account there, and can only see by having another of his relatives access my page for him. Yes . . there's nothing quite like knowing your ex is still maintaining a stalker-like vigil over the inner workings of your life and that of your friends! So. . .on the off chance he should stalk his way over to my blog here in hopes of gleaning more ammo in the war on freedom. . . . .MOVE ON ALREADY! IT'S OVER!

I think that's clear enough. . .then again I thought it was clear enough 2 years ago when he moved out of the house. . . .sigh.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Here's The Deal

So even though I have in effect broken up with my SO, I thought I'd just say again. . . it's still my plan to move to Whitehorse in the next few years. Yeah I know, there are plenty of you who disagree with this plan. (Ok disagree is putting it mildly. . .you think I'm nuts) The fact remains; it's what I want. Whether or not we reconcile doesn't come into my consideration the way you might have thought; and quite frankly, it shouldn't come as such a surprise from a girl who has been suffering from a severe Northern Exposure fantasy since the early 90's.

This isn't about moving away from something or someone. . . it's about me. It's about who I am, and how I feel. I realize it's hard for some of my family, and friends to understand this decision. I get it ok. I get that to you guys it looks like a ridiculous thing to do. Who moves to the Yukon?! Right? The answer is easy, people like me move to the Yukon.

Think of it as a plus, you guys can come visit me and tell everyone you went to see your crazy friend/relative in the Land of the Midnight Sun. Now that's a conversation piece!

So just to reiterate. . . I'm gonna keep planning. . . I'll keep telling you stupid facts I've learned about how Whitehorse has a Domino's or a Liquidation World; and you. . . you get to be hurt, you get to be fed up with my banalities. . . and at the end of the day, you get to love me still. You get to be happy that I'm going to follow my dreams. You also get to be loved by me, with the added benefit of knowing that if you ever plan on doing something EVERYONE says is stupid. . . at least I'll be there to support you :)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Pocket Full of Sunshine???

So. . . on saturday, I went into Liquidation World; thought I'd browsillate. Didn't find any treasure much worth purchasing, with the exception of some cute little metallicy purple and black hair clips. However, while contemplating the over-priced area rugs I was treated to a rare display of somewhat creepy generational crossing, musical appreciation. There was an extremely old man propping himself up on two (that's right, so old he needed two) canes, hobbling through the furniture department along with me, and whistling along to Pocket Full Of Sunshine with more fervor than a toddler who has just discovered his first light switch. Although I never truly enjoyed this song, I never cared enough to dislike it either. . . until now. It's still the same sugary sweet, bouncy little groove it was before and yet somehow now it feels. . .tainted and just plain creepy. I don't begrudge the man his enjoyment of pop music, and if he had been grooving to Santogold I probably would have adopted him as my new family. There's just something about the combination of the two elements which becomes all the less endearing the more I think of it.

I got a pocket, Got a pocket full of sunshine
I got a love and I know that it's all mine
Oh, oh, oh
Wish that you could, But you ain't gonna own me
Do anything you can to control me
Oh, oh, oh
Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (A sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)

Friday, November 7, 2008

Captain's Blog. . .

Why is it that the more I have to blog about the less I blog at all? I mean I could have blogged away about the fact that I broke up with my SO on Hallowe'en. . .could've blogged my angst at finding out I have skin cancer. . . or even the history making appointment of the first black president in the U.S. Perhaps the reason for my total lack of blogging in the past week is precisely because these things did occur. It's not as though I needed any extra incentive to think about or discuss these things. I guess I would have prefered to have less topical fodder for this blog; thus allowing me to bore my readers with the mundane randomness I set out to provide.